On The Surface
by Blood Crayon
Summary: Shuichi shindou is a highschool student who seems to be the target of every practical joke played at the school. Eiri Yuki, another student decides to join the fun, but when Shuichi finds out some of his secrets, everything begins to get complicated (If y
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation 

This story is an alternate universe story. The story line is as followed:

Shuichi Shindou is in his second year of highschool and has problems will non-stop bullying. His best friend Hiroshi Nakano defends him, but is not there all the time because they have different homerooms. The head bully is Eiri Yuki a blond haired terror who is in Shuichi's homeroom.

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My feet slapped the ground in a predictable pattern as I rounded the track. Running was my favorite sport by far. We had a set goal and while I jogged around the track I could let my mind wander. I was on my eighth lap of ten and once I finished I could head inside for a shower. I could hear someone approaching from behind me. I paid no attention. His rhythm was off. His feet slapped the track like some sort of rock and roll drummer. He would fall back soon, I quickened my pace a little because I could hear him approaching. Suddenly an ankle shot out and hooked around mine. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. My rhythm was thrown off and the clay track was coming close and closer. Ideas flashed through my mind, but soon I hit the track without a chance to even cover my face. I lay on the ground hoping whoever had tripped me had already ran ahead, but when I roller over he was still there.

Eiri Yuki.

He was standing there jogging in place. He was huffing a little and the sun bounced off his platinum blonde hair. He was laughing. I wanted to sink into the track again and just lay there until the end of the class, but the thought of more students passing by me and possibly doing something worse terrified me. I pushed myself off the grounds and tried to spit the taste of dirt out of my mouth, but it seemed to have been ground into my mouth. I felt a drop of warm liquid hit my shorts, My lip was bleeding. I wanted to start crying, but I could hear the footsteps of my classmates coming. I could feel the fear in the pit of stomach and it was slowly pushing itself up into my throat. I covered my mouth and began to jog again. My hand was cupped over the bleeding lip, catching the blood and trying to push the chance of vomiting back down into my stomach.

I passed the coach and he signaled for me to stop,

"Shindou! What happened out there?" He demanded

I sighed and studied the coach for a minute "I tripped and Yuki-san waited to see if I was okay"

He coach looked at me and I could tell he did not believe me. "Well, get to the showers"

I jogged inside and as I ran I could hear the catcalls from the other students. They were laughing and slapping hands in victory. I quickly shed the bloody gym clothes and walked into the shower. The warm water felt nice and the taste of dirt finally left my mouth. I quickly lathered my hair in hopes that I could get out of the shower before anyone else could get in.

No such luck. I could hear the door swing open and the excited chattering of the other students. Suddenly they all went quiet.

Something was coming.

I wrapped my towel firmly around my waste and exited the shower. I looked around for my pile of clothing and iot was nowhere to be seen. I felt a rising dread in my stomach and the vomit, which had threatened me before, came back up with a vengeance. My school bag was nowhere to be seen either. Suddenly an unnoticed hand ripped the towel from around my waste and I was thrown up against the shower walls.

Eiri Yuki stepped out from one of the locker rows. He was still wearing his gym clothes and my school jacket was over his shoulders. I could tell it was mine because of the way it barely fir over is broad shoulders. He pulled out something from behind him.

My notebook.

He flipped through a few pages and then began to read. I was cowering against the lockers trying to cover myself while my own words were thrown back at me. Each lyric was thrown back at my and stung me. People around me were hysterical with laughter. They were weak-kneed while the pointed at me or listened to my lyrics. I hated him. I hated my song. Everything was going wrong. No one, but Hiro was supposed to hear that song. He finished that song and moved on to a another one. I started to cry and a few of the students started to leave when they realized I was crying. They didn't want to get in trouble. Yet they did nothing to stop Yuki and his tyranny. I was huddled against the wall sobbed and clod to the bone. I buried my head in my arms. I tried to sing a song in my mind to block out the laughter. Through the cracks in my hands I could see someone standing in front of me. He grabbed my arm and held it in the air like a referee would do for the winner of the match.

"You want to hear more Shindou-chan?" He taunted his words dripped with hatred. His eyes were hard and excited. He had the twisted look of a cat taunting it's prey before the final bite to it's neck ended it's life.

"No.." I coughed out through strangled sobs.

"No? Is that all you can say. My names Yuki! Your going to call my Yuki-sama. Got it. GOT IT?" He screamed. He pinned me up against the lockers. I didn't look in to his eyes. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. He was beautiful. Like a girl, but the hatred made it hard for me to even look at him.

"Got it?" He hissed in my ear.

"Yes… Yuki-sama." I mumbled.

He looked at me and his eyes widened. His hand curled into a fist and his eyes went blank. He still had me pinned against the wall. What was going on? He kept mumbling "No..Stop…No" to himself and then he looked at me. My face was streaked with tears and I felt helpless.

He dropped his hold on my and I dropped to the floor. He took off my jacket and threw it at me. His friend threw my pile of clothing and my notebook. Yuki stumbled away looking severely disturbed.

-Two Days Later-

I wandered slowly through Sakura Park. It was quiet and the sun shined through the branches. After the incident in the locker room Yuki had left me alone. Hiro questioned what happened, but I refused to talk. I had a feeling he already knew. The whole school knew. Underclassmen looked at me with pity and the kids in my grade laughed and did a little dance whenever they saw me. I hadn't been able to eat a bite since then. I stumbled and swerved while I walked, but My conscious stayed aware of my surroundings (Though I was a bit fogy)

I could hear voices in the clearing ahead. I peaked through a large wall of bushes. A tall brown haired man sat on the blanket along with a thin blonde haired teen. I surveyed the scene with interest, but when the teen turned I gasped.

It was Yuki.

The tall man kept taking swigs from a bottle and Yuki sat there looking uncomfortable. The man put this hand of Yuki's knee and he slowly shifted a bit away from him. That made the man laugh. He grabbed Yuki's shirt and unbuttoned a few. Then he pushed Yuki on to the ground. Fear passed through Yuki's delicate face. What happened to the teenager who had been mercilessly tormenting me two days earlier?

The man whispered something into Yuki's ears and he said "Yes, Yuki-sama."

Yuki turned his head off to the side. Our eyes met and his widened. The man continued on and Yuki's face seemed to go blank. Ten minutes later the man Stood up and stumbled away in a drunken stupor. I pushed through the bushes while Yuki still lay on the blanket, staring at the sky.

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Update: I probably could have phrased this part better. What I should have said was "Please critique and tell me what you think because that helps we improve and keep writing (and updating) I was somewhat blunt. Thanks for mentioning it. I hate the idea of writing without other peoples input because I want to improve. Thank you for listening to my rambling


	2. Chapter Two

I crossed through the bushes and quietly looked around. There was a small pond that I had not noticed before. It was evident to me it had long since been in its prime. The water was foggy and covered in algae. The stones that littered the edge were dulled and listless. At the edge I saw a small chipmunk lying on the ground. It was dead. I pulled out an old magazine out of my bag and ripped a page out. I wrapped the small creature in the crinkly paper and dug a hole. I laid the small bundle in the hole and covered it with dirt.

"I'm sorry. I have nothing better to give you." I said as I lay three stones on top of the mound as a tribute.

How sad. This little creature died and no one knew. In a way I felt like the small bundle laying only a foot beneath the ground. He couldn't object to his own death, Just like how I could never find it in myself to object to be bullied. Bullying was like something you could only experience be able to understand. Pain is nothing compared to helplessness.

_Are you ashamed?_

That feeling of note being able to move can haunt you to your grave. A ring of people around laughing when you're not trying to be funny hurts.

So badly.

Slowly your voice begins to die out. The little candle you hide inside yourself blows out and you want to curl up in a little ball. The emptiness becomes too much to bear and you want to scream out. But you can't say anything because in your head you think no one wants to hear you.

I'm worthless

I'm just a waste of space.

How many times have those words flashed across my mind when I'm being bullied. Can you imagine the hurt when someone has your hands tied behind your back and they know it.

_Can any of them imagine?_

A voice broke through to my thoughts

"If your going to hand around, Come over here" Yuki. I stood up from the crouching position I was in. I turned and looked around at Yuki. Yuki had fixed his clothing, but his hair was matted with filth and there was a streak of dirt on his face. He was looking off in the opposite direction with an aloof expression on his face, but even I could see his discomfort. I walked across the small space between his blanket and the pond. Hesitantly I sat down.

Maybe it was minutes, maybe it was hours. I don't know how long we sat there in silence. Why was I sitting there? I should run. This is the same person who had been the reason I skipped out on most of my first year of high school deserves it!

Or does he? Why didn't he stop that man? I knew that it was most likely that he couldn't overpower him, but he could have at least struggled.

"Why...Why didn't you..." I mumbled and trailed off.

"Why what? Why didn't I stop him?" Yuki yelled. His eyes were glassy as he grabbed my wrist. I flinched in pain, In an anticipation of what was to come. More humiliation? He had grabbed my wrist this way before, but it was different now. He hand was tightened around my wrist as though he had to hold on for dear life.

"Why didn't I stop him? Have you ever had something like this happen to you? Everyone says if you're ever stuck in a situation like this that you should be brave, but do they really understand?"

"DO THEY?" He roared.

I wanted to come out and say I understood, I understood that what you should do and what you can do and completely different. I should have told him to stop when he was bullying me, but I couldn't. I could only cry and tell myself that I was worthless. No matter how many times people tell you you're worthless, it can never compare to admitting it to yourself.

"Every time he starts taking drinks from that little bottle. Every time hand goes on my knee" He thrust my hand on his knee and forced it downward. I flinched, but strangely I was captivated. "Every time he comes onto me and I can't stop him. They say on television to resist and scream. Girls in the hallway giggling saying if someone tried to rape them they would fight him off. They don't get it! When it's happening to you start to doubt yourself!" Yuki's face was contorted with rage and I saw some of the dirt on this face coming off.

He was crying.

"Do I deserve this? I did something wrong! I wore the wrong clothes; I said something that made him think differently. Then you realize that you just laid there and waited for it to be done!"

He dropped my hand and it flopped to my side. I saw black and blue marks forming on my wrists. I stared at the ground for a few minutes. Then I looked at him

"I'm sorry" was all I could say. Inside my head I wondered if I was supposed to be sorry. Isn't this a form of atonement, he deserves this because of what he did to me.

"What, Do you think if your nice to me that I wont bully you tomorrow?" He said with a twist of cruel humor in his words.

"That's not it..." But in my head I knew it was. I was hoping that if he realized I knew about what was going on and I could tell anyone that he would back down. I was ashamed, I knew I was a spineless coward.

He was hunched over and breathing heavy, but suddenly he spun over and pushed me on the ground. He hovered over as my mind raced. His face hovered in mine and I was afraid. His hand crept underneath my shirt. I remembered everything Yuki said before. Determined not to be like him and maybe the realization that I had no doubt in that he wouldn't stop I began to struggle.

"Stop! Please god stop! Yuki! Yuki-Sama" I cried. Damn that irratating cowardice. Without even realizing it I had called him that name, I was a victim to my own force of habit.

He ripped his hand out and looked at me. His face was no longer blank as though he was in a trance, but he was angry.

"What... what did you just call me?" He punched me the stomach and I curled up into a ball instinctively and covered my stomach...So much pain.

"Stop Yuki! Yuki-sama stop YukiYuki-sama! Damn that Kitazawa Don't you realize asking wont help. I asked and what did I get? WHAT DID I GET?" He stood up and turned away from me. The sun was slowly setting behind the clouds. I heard a strangled sob and then we ran through the bushes. I was still curled up in a ball and slowly everything began to swim away in my mind.

Yuki… Yuki… Yuki…

Who was this Kitazwa?

_Am I going to die?_

That last thought startled me. Did I want to die? Instinct made me push myself up from the ground and I limped home.

Mom asked what happened.

I told her some guys tried to mug me.

January 27th: Sorry about the mistakes in here. My computer had problems so we deleted all programs off the computer including Microsoft word. I had to upload through a notepad service and was not able to run a spell and grammar check. I should have double checked everything and fixed the mistakes it created like for some reason if I typed "Yuki" It said "Yukiyukid" I'm sorry about all the trouble and until my computer is restored I will only upload through a school computer (like I am using now)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation

I pushed through the heavy wooden doors of the school. I was nervous, but I kept my face expressionless. The hallways parted and people stared at me. Some of the underclassmen pointed and talked excitedly behind hands about me. Everyone knew about Yuki hating me, but as his intentions of making my life become a living hell became clearer I became somewhat of an untouchable to others.

I turned the corner and saw Yuki standing in the hallway surrounded by his entourage. His back was to me, but one of his groupies prodded him and he turned around to face me. My muscles locked, but a squeal and a boy with platinum blonde hair tackling Yuki diverted the attention from me. Behind him was a girl who's skirt had obviously been rolled up and her expression was someone defiant. The most remarkable thing about her was probably her hair, because it was bright purple.

"Tohma?" Yuki said as he rubbed his forehead.

"Yes, I told you I would be able to transfer here!" the blonde who was known as Tohma said.

I stood there unsure of what I should do. I just watched, but the same boy who alerted Yuki to my presence said "Hey Yuki, Looks like Shuichi is looking for you."

Tohma turned around and stared at me. Then he strutted across the hallway until our faces were almost inches apart.

"You're the brat who bothers Yuki!" he said. Bother Yuki? I avoided him at all costs. I was about to respond and say something nasty back because the boy was far from indimidating and I was nearly half a foot taller then him. Suddenly his hand cut through the air with power that was unexpected from such a tiny guy. I tripped on my own feet in shock and hit the ground.

I placed my hand on my cheek and my mouth was hanging open.

"Don't you have better things to do, Tohma?" someone said from behind me.

"Eh, the rumors are true! So little Ryu _is _going to this school."

"Yeah, and you know I don't like seeing people being picked on for no reason." He retorted coolly.

"Well, I wonder if this will be like your last little misadventure. Maybe he puts out a little more easily then your last prodigy." Tohma said.

A flush rose up on Ryuichis cheeks. He shot one last look of unadulterated hatred at Tohma and stormed off.

The purple haired girl looked down at me with contempt and grabbed Tohmas shoulder roughly. "Come on, there's nothing worth looking at here."

With that the three of them walked down the opposite hallway. Yuki looked over his shoulder and smirked. I felt heat rise up in my cheeks. I quickly collected my books that had been strewn all over the hallway. Ryuichi was at his locker only about 30 feet away. He slammed it closed and walked into the library. I followed after him and pushed threw the doors only seconds after they closed.

He walked behind some bookshelves in the far back part of the library. I sprinted behind him. "Ryuichi" I whispered. He heard me and turned around.

I managed to catch up with him, but I huffed for the first minute I stood in his presence.

"I wanted to say… Thank you" I said and finally looked up and into his eyes.

"It's no problem." He said.

"Seriously, I don't know what would have happened if…" I trailed off.

"If he had not decided to focus his attention on me?" Ryuichi said with a self-deprecating smile.

"What was he talking about..?" I questioned nervously.

He took a few steps closer to me until your faces were almost touching. "At my old school… I dated someone and in the end.. it was said that our relationship was not…" he trailed off. I frowned and tried to understand what he was saying. "Consensual.."

"You mean you two..?" I asked tersely. He nodded and said "eventually it was hushed up by the school. Suddenly I did something that had been nagging me in the back of my mind.

Even though I barely even knew him.

Even though I knew it would only fuel my unpopularity.

I let my lips touch his. He stepped back in surprise. A flush rose in my face. Suddenly he moved closer and allowed our lips to meet again. I put my hand on his neck and we slid to the floor. I pushed hungrily for more and he gladly obliged and wrapped his hand around my bottom.

Soon I just allowed myself to enjoy his embrace. I rested my head on his chest.

I was suppose after longing for human contact for so long, the sounds of a camera clicking and sinister chuckling from the next isle of books were gladly pushed out of my mind. Until a figure stepped into the isle and with a smirk he gave the camera a shake.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

Wow, I never expected 40 reviews. Thank you so much for reviewing, it always helps me to write knowing that people like my style.

Anyway, I don't have time to do responses to every review, but I figured I could get some things out of the way.

Sorry for the lack of updating. We moved and then had no computer, television, or phones for an entire month because we needed certain forms to be able to drill holes (We live in a historical house)

I reread the chapter and realized that Shuichi did come on to Ryuichi fast, but he was lonely…

I'm a girl 

Anyway, I wish I could reply to every one of your reviews because each one of them means so much.

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I can't believe this. How was I so stupid? I've never had a significant other. I suppose maybe in junior high I was popular. Girls used to ask me out, but my head was to far in the clouds. Kissing Ryuichi was like a dream. A ridiculous dream that you can only think about and never share.

I looked at Ryuichis face. He was not flushed. It did not even seem like he was scared. His features were frozen. No expression. No nothing.

"What do you want?" he asked and pushed himself off the ground. He walked up to yuki.

"Want? What ever do you mean?" Yuki asked with a smirk. He broke his gaze with Ryuichi to look at me and give a harsh malicious laugh.

"I can give you money; I'll do whatever you ask. Just keep this quiet." He said. He didn't cower. His words were like iron.

Yuki only laughed and left us to stand their in our own humiliation. Ryuchi didn't turn to face me. His shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry Shuichi." Was all he said and then he left the isle. I was alone again.

I wanted to cry. _No.. No more crying _

I pushed myself off the floor. Ryuichi had already left. I sprinted out of the library. I ran around the corner and nearly crashed in to two girls. I flung myself around one last corner until I saw Yuki exiting the school. He was cutting class. He was going to leave me grappling for answers. His lack of words and obvious arrogance were worse then him saying what he was going to do with those pictures. He was going to leave me alone and the mercy of my own mind.

I pushed through the doors. My feet slapped the ground. Running was one thing I knew I could do. In less then a minute I reached him. He turned around and didn't say a word while I stood their trying to regain my composure.

"Why." I huffed out. Yukis face contorted with rage after that one single word. I realized the gravity of the situation. The school grounds were empty. I was alone with the person who hated me most and obviously was unstable.

"Why? Why do I pick on you? You make me sick. SICK. Your just like him! He, who knows nothing about what is going on. Who walked through life blindly. Innocent to the world that would one day put him in his place with the cruelty unknown!"

What was he babbling about? Who was this person he was talking about? I didn't understand. My confusion must have shown on my face. He spun on his heel and began to walk away.

"NO! I wont let you do this anymore!" I screamed and grabbed his shoulder.

He turned around and reached out for me. I stumbled backwards and he clenched my wrist.

"Come with me to my apartment. I'll give you the camera."

He then turned his back to me and walked away.

I stood their speechless. His _apartment? _What did he want me to do? Was something going to happen. Was he going to beat me and kill me. Was going to.

No. I wont go.

I have to go. Not for me, for Ryuichi. I never felt like what I felt for Ryuichi. I need to save him.

_Stupid! You'll throw yourself away for some boy you met once?_

Maybe the truth is that I don't feel like there is much to throw away anymore.

I followed Yuki with my head bent over and staring at the ground. I didn't even look to where we are going until he stopped in front of an apartment building. I followed him upstairs. To my death? Or to my own humiliation.

The door to his room opened. It was spacious and well decorated. I struggled with my shoe laces, trying to pull off my shoes without much success. Yuki gave me a superior look before walking through the door to the living room.

"I live on my own." Yuki stated. I looked around again. It was a nice apartment and I did like it. He sat down on the couch without even bothering to remove his shoes. I followed meekly and sat down next to him.

He looked straight ahead without turning to me and in a hollow voice asked me "Do you really like Ryuichi?"

This was the last thing I expected to hear.

"I guess." Was all I could manage to blurt out.

"You're a moron, he is a tease and a liar" he stood up and I grabbed him by the shoulder.

"What do you know?" I yelled. I didn't know why I was so furious.

"What do I know? I dated him! How does he repay me? By running off with those-" he screamed as gripped my wrist so tightly that I thought it would fall off.

"You…You dated…Ryu-" I started to say feeling numb with shock. This was the most shocking thing I had heard, but what was more shocking was what he did next. He leaned forward and captured my lips in a kiss.

I can't say I'm proud of what I did, but I know its what anyone else might have. I leaned into the kiss and allowed myself to be enveloped by his strong embrace.

Does making love require you to be in love?

I never really thought about it. I don't love Yuki. I don't doubt that he doesn't love me. Yet how can two peoples bodies fit together so perfectly without an emotional connection.

I rolled over to face Yuki.

"Was this your first time?" he asked and took a drag from his cigarette.

I hesitantly admitted to him that it was.

He looked at me for a while, I felt strangely violated by his probing eyes.

"Get Out." He said. I only looked at him in confusion. He repeated it again. He pushed me with his cold hands until I was outside his door with my shirt barely over my head, my pants not done up, and no shoes.

I cried when I realized I had to walk home in the cold night without a coat. I cried for knowing that I might have just lost Ryuichi. And most of all I cried for what I had just lost by sleeping with the man I hated.

Reading through this chapter I have realized it is a little rushed, but I honestly was not sure where to go with this fanfiction and I felt guilty about not updating for so long. I understand if you think it's a little strange that Shuichi has essentially gotten intimate with anyone who expresses any interest in him and it seems like I'm just pushing this out too fast, but trust me that his actions do have reasoning behind them.

I also have not explained Ryuichis character that well and I promise he will be better explained within the next two chapters.

Kitazawa will show up again as will Tohma and please please please review. I like knowing that people are reading this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.


	5. Chapter 5

Yukis POV

I didn't sleep that night. I stared at the neon green letters of my alarm clock waiting for it to go off. I can't sleep. I used to be able to get one or two hours of sleep but on nights like these I feel so cold. I could have someone in my bed right now. Some women from the club down the road or a man looking for a cheap fuck because he's married to a women, but pussy isn't quite his cup of tea. In those moments I can forget about everything.

I make no sense. Even to myself. If Kitazawa raped me shouldn't I not want sex? Shouldn't I shy away from other peoples touch? I don't understand myself.

_Flashback_

_"Tohma told me everything!" I screamed as I threw him up against the wall. I knew Ryuichi had someone else on the side. It was obvious. I couldn't give him what he wanted because every time we got close enough Kitazawas face seemed to take over Ryuichis. So of course when Tohma told me that he had seen Ryuichi with an older man and from what he could tell it was not a platonic relationship. Tohma had whispered to me with a sadistic smile that he heard from someone what Ryuichi was selling himself._

_I was enraged. Ryuichi was obviously a little slut who only wanted sex. He probably enjoyed being fucked by those old men, he didn't need the money._

_"You don't understand Yuki. It's just a job, we don't have sex we just-" Ryuichi was saying while tears flowed down his face. I slapped him and he let out a short gasp. Suddenly he looked up and he pulled me close to him. Our lips crashed together. My mind was going in circles and I was so confused, and oh his body felt so good, and I thought maybe just maybe I could do this right now, on the floor of his empty classroom._

_I leaned backwards and allowed his weight to fall on my. He gently started to rock our hips together and I moaned in pleasure each time our erections touched. I opened my eyes and what I saw jolted me so hard that I pushed Ryuichi off me. Tohma was standing in the doorway with a look of shock on his face._

_I did the only thing I could do._

_"You sick freak. Don't touch me!" I screamed at Ryuichi; feigning anger as best I could. My back was to Tohma and he couldn't see the tears pouring down my face as I emotionally destroyed the one person I thought I could maybe ever love._

Quickly the entire school knew. Suddenly Ryuichi was known as "the little whore you jumped pour Yuki in the empty bio room and tried to rape him."

The very next day was my last day at that high school. Tohma promised that he would come to my new school as soon as he could.

And I walked home and opened the door to my little apartment. When I entered the kitchen Kitazawa was sitting there. However, this time he wasn't alone. He had a tall blonde haired man with him. He only smirked at me and I was lead to the bedroom by the both of them. To be worked from both sides, bruised, beaten, and then left alone to let me tears dry to the sound of cars driving by my house.

After that I became what is commonly refered to as a nymphomaniac. However, when Kitazawa touched me. When he touched me… It made me sick. I would become violently ill and couldn't eat for days. And then there was the sick part of me that was still secretly attracted to him. That was what made it the worst. That no matter what, I'll still thought he was handsome.

And then there was Shuichi. He was so innocent. He came to the school a little while after I did. I had already acquired many friends and female admirers by then and then he showed up. I was immediately attracted to him. The way he bit his lip and smiled up at the class when he introduced himself was endearing to me. However there was the nagging fact in the back of my head that he greatly resembled Ryuichi. Even his mannerisms when he was less inhibited when around his friend Hiro reminded me so much of my ex-lover. I began to hate him for this fact. Soon I was bullying him nonstop because it made me feel better about my own pathetic existence.

And then when we had sex. It was like the lines between Shuichi and Ryuichi had been blurred. His shy manner and the way he admitted to it being his first time. The exact words and way he laced and unlaced his fingers mimicked Ryuichi all those months ago.

I threw him out because I hate Ryuichi and they are too similar. I threw him out because I didn't want him to think I loved him. I threw him out because I didn't want to love him.

But then again; maybe I already do.

Shuichis POV

I was walking down the side of the road when my cell phone rang. It was an unfamiliar number, but I picked it up anyway thinking it was my mother calling from a pay phone of something.

"Shuichi?" the caller asked and I identified him as Ryuichi. I nearly dropped the phone.

"How did you get my phone number?" I asked. "I got your home phone from the school directory and your mom gave me your cell number because you weren't home. Where were you? I tried calling before" he asked curiously.

I flashed back to earlier in the afternoon. Yuki and I were kissing passionately when I thought I heard my phone ring. I made a movement to get up and he slide his hands down to my pulsing erection to keep me focused.

"Uh, Ryuichi. Can we meet up?" I didn't know what I was going to say to him, but at least this bought me some time before I had to tell him anything. He gave me his address and it was only about a ten minute walk from where I was. I reached his apartment. It was a modern looking building and I took the elevator up to the third floor. When Ryuichi opened the door he gasped after observing my appearance.

I stumbled into his apartment and collapsed on the floor crying. His arms enveloped me and when I winced because of my sore bottom hitting the floor he pulled away. He looked at my neck, my still swollen lips, and then he reached forward and pulled something off my shoulder.

A blonde hair.

In his eyes I could tell he knew, but he didn't say anything. I started to sob harder and he only wiped away my tears and wrapped his arms around me once again. He pulled me into his lap and rocked back and forth.

"I'm sorry. So sorry." I cried and he only shushed me and rubbed my back.

"You're a better person then I could ever be." I whispered to him after the sobs began to subside.

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So. I have not updated this in like forever and had a random burst of inspiration. To be completely honest I don't follow Gravitation as much as I used to and I don't even remember some of the core ideas of this fanfiction, so forgive me if there are a few inconsistencies.

And in case the events of these chapters weren't clear enough:

Yuki and Ryuichi were secretly dating and Tohma found out that Ryuichi was working for an escort service. He told Yuki because he thought it was funny and Yuki confronted Ryuichi about it. When they were kissing Tohma walked in and Yuki played it off as Ryuichi taking advantage of him to save his reputation. Yuki has promiscuous sex with other people at free will in an attempt to make himself feel better when he has sex with Kitazawa, but still feels deeply violated when Kitazawa forces them to have sex. Yukis core problem with Shuichi is that he resembled Ryuichi and he has started to care deeply for him. Tohma attempted to transfer schools, but was unsuccessful at first and eventually succeeded and Noriko came with him purely because she didn't have many other friends left at the school. Ryuichi put in for a transfer after the bullying became too bad because of the rumors abouthim trying to rape Yuki and then did not realize he would end up at the same school as all of them and they all succeeded with transferring around the same time because of some openings in the school that appeared for unknown reasons.

Everything else that hasn't been explained (such as why Ryuichi didn't flip a shit) will be further explored in the next chapters, but I figured that I should give the basics of what just happened in case I was unclear in my writing.


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